Trust can be defined as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. The definition seems very clear and straightforward, however for some actually putting trust into action is the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest with no gear, no supplies, and only one arm.
The thing is trust is something that is irrefutably necessary for the success and happiness of ALL relationships – romantic relationships or friendships.
As humans we are hardwired to connect with others and trust others. Without connection we would not be able to survive as a species. We thrive off of one another and learn and grow with one another. Beyond this simple fact trust is important for healthy relationships for so many other reasons.
1. WE ARE CAPABLE OF MORE WHEN WE TRUST
If we can trust wholeheartedly that someone is there to support us in the toughest of times, it makes previously insurmountable challenges seem like ant hills. Suddenly, what was daunting is now something that is achievable. We, along with that special someone, can more effectively take on the challenges of the world and come out better for it.
2. WE’RE LESS LONELY
Once we realize that it is not us against the world, rather it’s us and our best buds or our partner against the world, we suddenly realize that we don’t have to go through this life alone. Quite often because we think we are alone several of us fall into a pit of bitterness and misery, thinking that we are unlovable or that no one can understand us. In reality, we are putting up giant walls with people because that’s what is safest. When we do this we really aren’t giving people the opportunity to get to know us for fear that we will be judged or disliked—it’s better to not give them the opportunity to judge us than risk rejection.
3. WE ARE MORE AUTHENTIC
When we trust someone we are trusting them with our deepest, darkest secrets and letting them see the unedited version of us. People truly get to see you, FOR YOU. They see us when we are at our worst, yet they still accept us as we come (at least the worthwhile people do). This means, that for us—there is no more lying, there is no more putting on a mask to try to appease others. The lack of putting on airs and being honest with ourselves and with others is one of the most freeing, profound experiences we will ever know. The exhaustion from the lies will dissipate and we can find an inner sense of peace and harmony.
4. TRUSTING GIVES US A MORE POSITIVE VIEW OF THE WORLD
When we learn that people are generally trustworthy, our entire view of the world changes. For people who distrust others, they are constantly waiting for the bottom to fall out, or the other shoe to drop. They’re constantly fearing the worst, and KNOW that the worst will eventually rear its ugly head. When we begin to trust in the general goodness of others, our view of the world is suddenly no longer dismal and bleak, rather we begin to see people as those who can effect change, as those who can make an impact in the world, and as people who are there to support us in the good times and the bad.
Whether we like it or not, trust is something that is necessary for the continuation of our species and for our own happiness. We owe it to ourselves to try to be the happiest, most successful versions of ourselves, and the foundation for this happiness is trust. Will there be disappointments along our journey of trust? Absolutely! My next blog will be discussing how to handle these disappointments, and what these disappointments actually mean. In the meantime, you should be asking yourself what steps will you be taking today to begin your journey of trust?